What Middle Schoolers Truly Want.
“Mrs. Lloyd, we have something to tell you.” I will never forget these three young middle schoolers, the basketball stars of the school, seemingly happy. Jacob shared, “Every night at midnight I fall into a depression and just cry…nobody knows.” “Same here, Mrs. Lloyd…I cry every night,” said Jamie, and “… My father is in jail, his dad too, he doesn’t even know his dad and we know some girls who feel the same,” added Isaac.
In this week’s insight, we are looking at one insight we simply cannot wish away…the importance of connection to one’s father. We will first identify the role of early loss of a father early in life, the impact of the father-child bond, and, finally, practices that have helped increase students’ self-efficacy.
The role of the loss of a parent early in life increases the likelihood of substance abuse, greater vulnerability to depression, higher risk of criminal behavior, school underachievement, and lower employment rates.
The impact of the father-child bond is just as profound. According to Yarrow, 2019, “children without fathers are twice as likely as other children to be treated for mental health issues. Thoughts of suicide are more common, and approximately two-thirds of youth suicides occur among kids separated from their fathers. New boyfriends of single mothers can sometimes be supportive but are often new sources of conflict, especially for boys.”
Evidenced-based practices are to include cultural sensitivity as well as encourage students to safely:
- Identify their emotions connected to the issue.
- Assess their needs and the most helpful means of meeting them.
- Learn how to foster healthy relationships with those caregivers who are present.
In my experience facilitating the Resilient Stars Choices Program in middle schools, the students determine the process based on how safe they feel to share. They also want to be a part of the solution and not have the solution asserted upon them. Interventions are best as collaborative, continual feedback loops of what are the most helpful means of supporting the students’ ability to remain present and achieving whilst healing.
Remember, one reason you chose the teaching profession is to instill the love of learning, and understanding students’ challenges and the resources available could help facilitate that process. Understanding the role of the early loss of a parent, the impact of the father-child bond as well as evidenced-based practices are powerful ways of engaging these students.
We provide virtual Resilient Stars Coaching Programs to schools. Our process engages the cognitive conceptualization to assess and treat anxiety and depression. You can book a session on our portal to experience the benefits of improved grit, self-esteem, and ability to manage anxiety and depression.